


Boys and Girls Are Different

by madamelibrarian, Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Loving Heart [42]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Children, Cute Kids, Family Fluff, M/M, Sam accidentally flashing his daughter, Sam's scary big penis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 14:37:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11602677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamelibrarian/pseuds/madamelibrarian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: Mary Rose sees something new and a little confusing and needs her Mommy and Papa to explain.





	Boys and Girls Are Different

**Author's Note:**

> Dialog that is bolded is being spoken in Enochian
> 
>  
> 
> Drop us a note and let us know what you think. Comments feed the plot bunnies.
> 
> You can also find us on tumblr at lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell.tumblr.com & madamelibrarian.tumblr.com

Sam hummed tunelessly as he stepped out of the shower with a towel over his head as he dried his hair. The run leaving him feeling loose muscled and ready for his day. That was until he heard a small gasp from the bed. He ripped the towel off his head and stared wide eyed at Mary who had Mr. Floofles clutched in her arms, staring back at her father in equal amounts of shock.

“Mary!” Sam unintentionally shouted as he covered himself. She squeaked in alarm and ran out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her.

Lucifer was drinking coffee and talking to Gabriel in the kitchen when Mary came running in and tackled his legs.

“Whoa there, Princess, what’s up?” he asked, lifting her up and sitting her in his lap.

“Mommy...Daddy…” she looked up at Lucifer and puffed out small hyper breaths. “He gots another leg.”

Lucifer looked over at Gabriel. “ **Didn’t I say I didn’t want her seeing a penis until she was nine and I could** ** _explain_** **them? Didn’t I? Why am I never listened to? Is it because I’m Mommy?** ” He asked his brother.

 **“Why are you blaming me? Sam’s the one flashing his legs.”** Gabriel said but could keep from snickering at his wording. “Gumdrop, did you just see Daddy without his undies?”

She nodded hard, her free flowing hair bouncing around her face. “I jus’ getting Mr. Floofs like Mommy said I could and Daddy came out of the bafroom.”

Lucifer sighed and tucked her hair back. “Daddy has another leg because he’s a boy, and we don’t have the same parts as girls.” he explained.

She blinked owlishly at the both of them as a crease formed in her forehead. “Boy’s don’ have bugs?”

“Nope, no bugs.” Lucifer said. “No bugs for the boys.”

 **“We should really teach her the real names.”** Gabriel commented into his coffee cup.

“ **What part of ‘when she is nine’ do you not understand?** ” Lucifer asked. “ **Do you really want a three year old shouting ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ all over the bunker?** ”

 **“Funnier than ‘bugs’ and ‘legs’.”** Gabriel snickered.

“Why?” Mary Rose chirped as she looked at Gabriel for an explanation.

Gabriel looked at Lucifer and shrugged, then turned his attention to their daughter. Crouching down in front of her, he straightened the bow around the neck of the teddy bear she was holding. “Well you see, sweety. When God made humans he had to be able to tell the difference between boys and girls. So he gave girls a vagina and boys a penis.”

“Wha’s a penis?” Mary asked with a tilt of her head.

“What you saw on Daddy was a penis.” Gabriel said with a matter of fact tone. “That’s it’s name. Just like your bug is also called a Vagina.”

Lucifer nodded in agreement and slowly turned a sweet yet murderous gaze to his brother.

Mary Rose thought about that, letting the new knowledge sink in. “Mommy, is all pen..penises scary big?” Gabriel burst out laughing at her question and sat on the floor.

Lucifer nearly choked on his coffee. “Um.” He was _definitely_ going to murder Gabriel. Throwing him into the dryer and turning it onto the highest setting would be good. “Well. No. That’s dependant upon how tall the boy is and things like that. No two _legs_ are alike, just like no two bugs are alike.”

“Like snowf’akes!” Mary Rose exclaimed with a smile like she’d just unraveled the secrets of the universe.

“Exactly.” Gabriel snickered as he got his giggles under control. “But I want you to remember something, Gumdrop. Penises and Vaginas are private places and it embarrases Mommy and Daddies when little princesses walk in on them when they don’t have undies on. So always knock on closed doors before coming in. Okay?”

Lucifer nodded in agreement with Gabriel. “Please remember that, princess,” he murmured warmly, kissing the side of her head.

Mary Rose nodded as she hugged Mr. Floofles tight. “Is dat why Daddy Sam yelled?”

“Yes. He probably wasn’t expecting to see you and it was embarrassing for him to have his princess see him like that.” Lucifer hugged her tightly.

“He not mad?” She asked in a small whisper, peeking over the top of the bear's head at Gabriel.

Gabriel shook his head. “Nah. It takes a lot to make Daddy mad. Like when Uncle Dean leaves his stinky socks by the couch.”

Mary Rose wrinkled her nose with a giggle. “Unca Dean got stinky feets.”

“I blame my work boots.” Dean said with a sleepy yawn as he came into the kitchen wearing his robe.

Sam following behind him, fully dressed and his hair slicked back from being combed while wet. “I just blame you.”

Cas grumbled into the kitchen as well, looking like a disgruntled parrot woken too early from a nap. “Don’t start bickering before breakfast or I’ll smite you both.” he rasped.

Lucifer looked at them and shook his head in amusement before returning to his coffee, wondering if he could get Dean to slip some whiskey in it after this morning’s conversation.

Mary Rose crawled down from Lucifer’s lap and ran to Sam, wrapping her arms around his legs. “Sorry I ‘barrassed you, but you’d got a scary big penis.”

The sound of a coffee mug being dropped to the counter echoed through the kitchen as Dean turned to stare at his brother. He opened and closed his mouth several times, doing his best impression of a fish. “DUDE!” he finally got out.

Gabriel covered his face as his shoulders shook in silent laughter.

Sam turned a terrified expression towards Lucifer. “What the hell have you two been telling her?”

Lucifer pointed at Gabriel darkly. “ _I_ was sticking to little kid terms and told him I wanted to _wait_ for the technical stuff until she was older! This is NOT my doing.”

“I didn’t teach her the scary big part though.” Gabriel said through his mirth, which was starting to spread because even Castiel was starting to crack a smile.

Mary Rose looked up and patted Sam on the leg. “It’s okay, Daddy. ‘Cause girls have a vagina an’ that’s how you tell boys and girls aparts. Can I go play now?” She asked as if she hadn’t just been talking about anatomy.

Lucifer nodded. “Yes, go play in your room until we call you to breakfast.” he said.

Mary Rose ran off to her room leaving the adult men alone in the kitchen, silent until Sam rubbed a hand over his face. “Luc’, I’m sorry. I thought she was with you when I got out of the shower.”

“That’ll teach you to let the monster out before checking the room for innocent bystanders.” Dean teased as he filled his mug.

“Screw you, Dean.” Sam said as he walked to the coffee pot and nudged him out of the way.

Dean snorted, sitting across the table from Lucifer. “No, thank you. That’s Cas’ job.”

Lucifer snorted. “It’s fine, Sam. Now Gabriel,” his voice turned low as he faced his mate. _“What did I say about teaching her the technical name for things?!”_

Gabriel stood up from the floor and raised his eyebrow at Lucifer before turning to refill his coffee cup. “Yes, because having her run around calling dicks ‘legs’ is so the term we want to teach her. Come on, it’s not like I taught her to call them ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’.”

“Three year olds repeat _everything_ _!_ You’ve had kids before, Gabriel, you _know_ this!!” Lucifer said.

Gabriel turned around with a sigh. “Heylel, would you calm down? It’s a medical term, not the apocalypse. So what if she screams out ‘penis’ in the middle of the mall, most people find it funny or endearing. Anyone who thinks differently can suck mine.” He smirked over the lip of his mug and glanced at Sam. “Or Moose can choke them with his.”

“Gabriel!” Sam hissed, his cheeks flushing a light pink. “Can we not talk about my...junk.”

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. “And this is why we have a smarter than average three year old who talks like a sailor on payday.”

Dean shrugged as he sat next to Lucifer. “Sammy knew what it was called before kindergarten. Better than what I called it until I learned better.”

Lucifer looked at Dean. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, grabbing his coffee and standing up to go grab the whiskey to add to his coffee.

“It could have been worse.” Castiel finally added to the conversation as he rubbed sleep from his eye.

“Gabriel could have told her how babies are made?” Dean offered which made Sam snort out a laugh that he quickly stifled when he saw the scathing glare from Lucifer.

“I was thinking of her walking in on the three of you doing less than innocent acts.” Castiel joined the family at the table. “Imagine the difficulty of explaining why her Mommy is being spanked.”

Dean nearly choked on his coffee and when he finally could breathe again he mopped up the spill of from the table. “Cas, just because we know it happens doesn’t mean we talk about it as a group.”

Lucifer stared at the room at large as he, with a scathing glare, dumped half a bottle of whiskey into his coffee. “You boys were saying?”

“I think Dean was saying that he wants a blow by blow account of spanking.” Gabriel teased the older hunter with a waggle of his eyebrows, unphased by his brother’s glare until it continued and Dean threw a wadded up wet napkin at him. “Lucifer, Stop. She’s going to grow up. It’s what little girls do. She’s going to go to school someday and then she’ll really learn some interesting things besides arithmetic.”

Lucifer sighed and drank his coffee sullenly. “I know.” he said quietly.

Sam turned in his seat to open up his lap for Lucifer if he wanted to a have a seat, subtly tapping his knee in invitation. “I admit this wasn’t an ideal situation and it’s not fun to have your daughter say that you have a ‘scary big penis’ but it’s fine.”

Lucifer took the invitation and crawled into Sam’s lap, nuzzling into his neck.

The conversation amongst them turn to a different subject that wasn’t as stressful for morning coffee until Dean got up along with Gabriel to make breakfast. Mary Rose came in halfway through the preparation and held Mr. Floofles up to Lucifer. The bear looked like his usual self except for one small addition. A bright pink pair of little girl undies with a picture of yellow pony on the front. “Look Mommy. Mr. Floofs pretty.”

Sam stared at the bear for a minute before bursting out into giggles, making Gabriel and Dean turn around.

Castiel tilted his head in confusion as he stared at the toy. “Why does the bear have panties on?”

Lucifer waited patiently for an explanation, running his fingers through his daughter’s hair.

Mary Rose crawled up into a chair and sat the bear on the table. “‘Cause he wan’ed to be like Papa.”

Gabriel looked over at Lucifer and shook his head with wide eyes. “I didn’t. I swear.” he said in stunted sentences, trying to make it known that he in no way ever told their daughter about that.

“Princess, why do you think Papa wears panties like girls do?” Lucifer asked, raising a brow at his brother.

“Daddy said so.” She said innocently as she bounced the bear on the table. “Daddy tol’ Papa to pull his pants up ‘cause he had pretty panties an’ his pants was falling down.”

Lucifer looked back at his other mate with a raised brow.

Sam ignored the look and the rest of the group as they stared at him. “When was this, princess?”

She thought about it for a minute and shrugged. “Cleanin’ my room.”

Sighing, Sam dropped his forehead to Lucifer's shoulder. “He was wearing loose jeans and the edge peeked out.”

Lucifer sighed and he looked over at his brother. “You two are going to destroy her innocence before school starts up.” he said mournfully.


End file.
